Short Relationship Assessment

This short assessment looks at how well the two of you attune/connect to each other emotionally, as well as how you are aligned in different areas of your life.

It is our hope that this assessment can open communication while understanding each other more intimately. At the end of the assessment, we will share some resources to stimulate growth in areas that you may want to improve.

Instructions: It is best to take this assessment quickly and not “over think” the questions. Each partner takes it separately, without influencing the other.

Score the following questions on this Relationship Assessment on a scale from 1 to 5. Some questions have examples of what 1 through 5 could look like.

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

Your First and Last Name *

Best Email Address To Send You The Results *

Your Partner's First and Last Name *

Which counselor have you been assigned to (if applicable)? *

Assessment Section 1 - Emotional Connection

1. I feel my partner is there for me in whatever the situation is, I can count on them. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

2. I feel I matter to my partner more than anyone or anything on earth. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

3. I feel my partner will come when I when I need them to, in any situation. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

4. I love talking and sharing about what is going on in each other’s lives. I can sit and share for hours about the past and looking to the future. They are my favorite person to be with. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

Assessment Section 2 - Relational Connection

5. We have discussed and agree on important topics like; “do we want kids” and “how we want to interact with our extended family, parents and siblings”. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

6. We respect each other's feelings during conflict, and will discuss frustrations quickly before they escalate. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

7. When we disagree about a topic we care about; we tend to do one of the following: *

1) Avoid conflict and individually do what needs to be done if we do anything.

2) One or both of us get very passionate about talking it out, I don’t feel heard.

3) We can discuss superficial topics but avoid any deep issues due to fear.

4) Mostly, only one of us brings up conflict topics, then we work together to resolve it.

5) We share and discuss what we think because we feel safe and know the other cares.

Assessment Section 3 - Spiritual Connection

8. I know my family’s history in the area of spiritual beliefs and have developed my own faith practices that I carry out on a regular basis. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

9. I know my spouse’s family history in the area of spiritual beliefs and my spouse has developed their own faith practices that they carry out on a regular basis. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

10. We are in alignment about religious and/or spiritual beliefs and practices. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

Assessment Section 4 - Financial Connection

11. We are bringing in enough income to take care of our needs and wants. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

12. We have agreed on financial goals and work together with a budget to realize it. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

13. We are generous with our money, time and possessions to help others. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

Assessment Section 5 - Sexual Connection

14. I find my spouse very attractive physically. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

15. I get emotionally turned on/aroused around my partner and want intimacy. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

16. We enjoy pleasuring each other and we both know what the other likes. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

Assessment Section 6 - Recreational Connection

17. I enjoy our hobbies and interests, things we get out and do together. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

18. I enjoy physical activities like hikes and leisure activities together. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

19. I love doing new and different things with my spouse and am open to trying their ideas. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

Assessment Section 7 - Health and Exercise

20. We make it a priority to take care of our bodies. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

21. We eat healthy foods, in good portions to keep our weight at what it should be. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

22. We exercise on a regular basis, 3-4 times a week, we want to be healthy far into the future. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

Assessment Section 8 - Goals and Vision for the Future

23. We are growing in many areas of our lives, discovering new things about ourselves, each other and the world. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

24. We, as a couple have a vision for what we want our lives to be about. We are committed to live a full and meaningful life, with purpose for the rest of our lives. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%

25. We are part of a community of people who care about each other and will regularly reach out to each other for help, advice, and accountability. *

1) I don’t agree at all with this statement. 0-15%

2) I mostly disagree with this statement. 20-40%

3) I’m not sure either way with this statement 40-60%

4) I mostly agree with the statement. 60-80%.

5) I am in total agreement with this statement. 85-100%